Margari Aziza

Bringing Race Into It

You don’t need a hood and a burning cross to be a racist. People write racist tweets about child actors or hockey players; people say racist jokes behind closed doors; people will disown their kids if they choose someone outside their ethnicity. There are also subtle forms of racism, subconscious preferences that lead to patterns of discrimination. Institutional racism is real, but often not entirely  provable outside of a careful scrutiny of an institution’s long time record or hiring and firing practices. But people are now using the term “racist” so much that it is being rendered ineffective. I’ve heard a lazy student say they got a bad grade because a teacher didn’t like them because they are Black. The problem is, the teacher is Black. The teacher had high hopes for the student, but the student underperformed consistently, was frequently absent or tardy, and didn’t participate in class. Yet, the student used the “racist” card as a way of not taking ownership of the situation or looking at all the factors that played a part in them earning poorer marks than their non-Black counterparts. This immature attitude goes into adulthood and is widespread. Many Black people will say their boss doesn’t like them because they are Black. Unless you have evidence, such as racist comments or jokes, maybe it is not a racially hostile environment. Maybe someone doesn’t like you because of you, your work ethic, your interaction with them, or attitude, and not just your race. If we want to improve our condition, Black people have to consider working on what they can change, instead of blaming something that they can’t change. 

On judgement

I’ve been judged a lot, and have judged others. But I’m learning to let that go for my own peace of mind. Judgement is easy. Empathy, acceptance, and understanding is hard. Whether, Christian/Muslim, devout/lax, liberal/conservative, religious/secular, working class/educated professional, both ends of the spectrum judge the other.  People resent those who have more than them, thinking that others who have it easy do not deserve their privileges. They show contempt for those who have less than them and or who they see as making poor choices based on inferior intellect. People judge their equals, and constantly comparing themselves  in an endless competition to one up each other. Judgement makes people feel superior, but it is only a quick fix, a salve. It doesn’t cover up the gaping hole within yourself, or allow you to reflect on how short you come up in the grand scale of things.

On adoption

When I took my daughter to the pediatrician today, there was another African American woman who brought in a cute little baby. When I asked how old her daughter was, the lady corrected me and said she worked for an adoption agency and was taking in the little girl for her appointment. We spoke briefly. I asked her if most of the babies find a home. She said most did, many of them going abroad and some finding other placement because they were special needs. She told me  that working for an adoption agency  was bitter sweet. This caused me to think about trans-racial adoption. Many of the critics of trans-racial adoption were adopted themselves. But I wonder if instead of criticizing trans-racial adoption, why not critique the families in a particular community that fail to take in these babies. I wondered if I could adopt, myself. So I am implicating myself in failing the Black babies who wind up in foster homes for years or in homes of families who are culturally insensitive. Ultimately, this little Jackson is loved and  will have a much more privileged life  than otherwise. Whatever the circumstances, he is loved and that’s what matters most to me.

A rut

The Future

While the American Muslim community is relatively young, children comprise a small portion of the America Muslim community, with just 13.1% under the age of 15, compared with 20.2% in the broader population. Women make up 46% percent of the adult Muslim community and roughly half of all American Muslims live with at least one child under 18. The focus in our communities seems to be on creating spaces for men and meeting their needs, but not the needs of women and children. But our future lies in our children and paradise is at the feet of our mothers (spiritual and biological).

—Stats from the Pew study “Muslim Americans: Middle Class and Mostly Mainstream”